R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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