awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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