bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
