home. puking in laundry basket.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
