2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
