you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
