Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
