Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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