Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I love you.
Bad choice
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
