You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize