I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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