i would punch a child for taco bell
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.