If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...