Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Is Oprah even human
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
