we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
