From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
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Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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