My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
