Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
