I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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