high people should be assigned attendants
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize