you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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