so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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