OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
