so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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