some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
