he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
