Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
