I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
