He kissed a someone with a penis
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
