I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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