Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
