yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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