when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
