We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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