Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
