i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
