i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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