D3 body, D1 cock
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
what day is it and did you see me today?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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