Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
