yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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