Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
