So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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