I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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