No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
