i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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