Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
