Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Couch. On fire.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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