how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
