i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
