happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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