Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
