Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
