singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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