Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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