how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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