I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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