i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize