just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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