That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
