What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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